Wednesday, 30th April, 2025
Bible Reading: Matthew 7: 3-5
Memory Verse: Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. Matthew 7:1-2 (MSG)
With a few additions, an excerpt from the book, ‘Ready to Wed’ by Greg and Erin Smalley read: To break out of an unhealthy cycle of conflict, you must first understand a commonly held myth about working through an argument. In our culture, the most common advice for a married couple who is in the middle of a conflict goes something like this: You need to sit down and calmly talk through the issue. The problem we have with the advice is that at what point should a couple begin to talk through the problem?
To answer this question, think about the last time you were hurt or frustrated with your fiancé(e) — a time when your buttons were pushed, your heart was closed, and you were in reaction mode (fight or flight). When your buttons have been pushed, when your heart is closed, and you’re in reaction mode, the unhealthiest first step is to attempt to work out the problem relationally — between you two.
Instead, the best first step is found in Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV): “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
This is amazing advice from Jesus Himself, and it’s the perfect first step to breaking out of unhealthy conflict. Here, Christ is saying that before you focus on your fiancé(e) and his or her speck, you need to first get the log out of your own eye. In other words, before you try to have a conversation together and talk through the conflict, first deal with yourself.
Therefore, we say that the best thing you can do after your buttons have been pushed is to get your heart back open so that instead of reacting, you can respond to your fiancé(e)/spouse/friend. Responding is the opposite of reacting. Responding is Christ-like because its focus is on: Loving, Caring, Listening, Understanding, Validating, Empathizing.
This is why King Solomon wrote, “A wise man guides his mouth” (Proverbs 16:23). In other words, an open heart will guide a healthy conversation.
So how do you get your heart to open up again? We shall continue in this stead tomorrow.
Do You Know: Did you know couples are 30 percent less likely to get a divorce if they get some sort of premarital training?
Quote: You can’t help a situation until you are immuned emotionally from it. Healing starts with you.
Prophetic Decree: Receive grace to Master yourself, in Jesus name.
Prayer Focus
1. Holy Spirit, please help me to be brutally honest with myself, in Jesus name.
2. I receive grace to break away from the cycle of irritating emotions, in Jesus name.
3. O Lord, please help me to know when to be quiet and when to talk in Jesus name.
4. I receive grace to respond with grace in my relationship at home, work, or school, in Jesus name.
5. Henceforth, my words shall be filled with grace and seasoned with salt unto edification, in Jesus name.
6. I receive wisdom for conflict management and resolution, in Jesus name.
BIBLE IN ONE YEAR: Psalms 102-104
