Tuesday, 29^th April, 2025

Bible Reading: Matthew 5: 23-24 

Memory Verse:  If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. Galatians 5:15 (NIV)

Erin Smalley & Greg Smalley said: Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that your new marriage shouldn’t have any conflict in it. Many couples believe that their lack of conflict in their relationship is a good sign. But then they get engaged and the countless stresses of life bring conflict to the surface until it is unavoidable. It’s normal to have conflict — and it’s unavoidable. According to the Bible, (offence will surely come), what matters most is how you handle the conflict in your marriage. Conflict in Marriage Is Not Optional. But this will require a different mind-set.

It’s not possible to take a man and a woman whom God created so wonderfully different and expect that they’ll never disagree. That’s ridiculous. You will argue, quarrel, wrangle, bicker, and clash from time to time. As author Max Lucado put it, “Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.” In other words, you will disagree (accept this fact), but what is optional is how you manage those moments when you don’t see eye to eye or you hurt each other. You can choose to manage your conflict in either healthy or unhealthy ways. 

What Does the Bible Say about Fighting in Marriage? Facing your differences and problems is a healthy aspect of a strong marriage. We believe that’s why Jesus strongly encouraged us in Matthew 5:23-24 to deal with relationship problems so that our hearts can be right: On the other hand, yelling, withdrawing, belittling, criticizing, avoiding, and escalating (combat) will ultimately ruin your marriage. As a matter of fact, some of the best marriage researchers on the planet can predict with a high degree of certainty whether a marriage will succeed or fail simply based on how a couple deals with conflict. If they argue without ever resolving their issues or consistently avoid conflict altogether, their marriage is at risk for divorce.

The apostle Paul recognized the same truth when he wrote, “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” Galatians 5:15. It’s not how many arguments you have with your future spouse; it’s how you manage them that makes all the difference. Proverbs 18:19 tells us, “An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.” The bottom line is, your marriage will not last if you’re unable or unwilling to work through your issues.

Develop Your Conflict Resolution Skills as a Couple: Marriage expert, Dr. John Gottman said it succinctly: “If there is one lesson I have learned from my years of research it is that a lasting marriage results from a couple’s ability to resolve the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship. Many couples tend to equate a low level of conflict with happiness and believe the claim “we never fight” is a sign of marital health. But I believe we grow in our relationships by reconciling our differences. That’s how we become more loving people and truly experience the fruits of marriage.” Otherwise, poorly managed conflict is always buried alive, and it often festers until it becomes a much bigger problem. In the end, buried issues end up exploding like a massive volcano, leaving your spouse in its destructive wake.

What Is the Difference Between Conflict and Combat? Make a decision today that you will keep short accounts (of offences) with each other. Keeping short accounts isn’t about keeping score, sweeping your problems under the rugs that they mount up, or arguing in unhealthy ways. Instead, it means that you work through conflict as quickly as possible and in healthy ways — the opposite of combat. The goal is never to avoid your problems and keep peace at any price. As one author wrote, “Peace … is not just the absence of war. It’s the opposite of war.” Make your goal to quickly repair your relationship. We really like how author Sabrina Beasley McDonald describes it: “Keep short accounts and extend forgiveness regularly.”

Assignment: Read the book, ‘Ready to Wed’ by Greg and Erin Smalley.

Prayer Focus 

1. Thank you Father for the privilege to learn about marriage.

2. I receive grace to understand my spouse in Jesus name. 

3. Today, I receive a renewed mindset about managing conflict in my home, in Jesus name. 

4. I receive grace to forgive and forget offences, in Jesus name. 

5. Every spirit of marital turbulence in my foundation, die by fire, in Jesus name. 

6. Every curse of marital instability in your foundation is annulled by the power in the Blood of Jesus. 

BIBLE IN ONE YEAR:  1 Chronicles 7-10