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PARENTING: SUICIDE NOTE (1)

PARENTING: SUICIDE NOTE (1)

DWOJ Daily Words of Jesus Devotional Post June

Friday, 23rd June 2023

Bible Reading: Deuteronomy 11:19-22

Memory VerseWhen Ahithophel saw that his advice had not been followed, he saddled his donkey and set out for his house in his hometown. He put his house in order and then hanged himself. So he died and was buried in his father’s tomb. 2 Samuel 17:23 (NIV)

Mum, I want you to know that I love you dearly and will forever love you. If I am given the opportunity to live again, I will still choose you as my mum and our family will still be my place of birth. But unfortunately, I know there is not going to be any such opportunity.  I battled alone for about thirteen months now until my strength failed me. You and dad could not decipher what I was going through and maybe I should not blame you for that. Mum, I know that you and dad loved me and did everything you could to prove that to me but I was not feeling loved.

You provided for me more than I even wanted, took me to places that most of my mates have not even heard of, yet, despite all these my heart was longing for love. I needed someone who would love me for who I was. I needed someone who could reach to the depth of my soul and feel the vacuum there. Then came the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Your brother, Uncle Tony who came to live with us, made me to believe that he knew exactly what my soul was longing for – companionship.

He chose to stay with me when you and dad were too busy to notice my loneliness. He tried to keep me company when I needed someone to talk to because I had only gadgets and teddy bears as my company. I was fooled to trust him and he hacked into my foolishness. And he did it perfectly and deeply. Mum, your brother raped me and used me as sex toy for three whole years. I expected you or dad to notice but none of you did.

When he left our house last year I was shattered because I have grown to fill the void of your presence with his dirty deeds. I couldn’t complain because I was afraid of losing him, but when he eventually left for Canada the magnitude of the emptiness in me became too heavy for me to carry. I struggled to forget those experiences but I could not. To be continued…

Lesson:  It is possible to be present but absent as a parent to one’s children.

QuoteIt is one thing to be a parent, and it is another thing to learn the art of parenting.

Prophetic Decree:  The activities of strangers physically and spiritually around your children shall not prevail, in Jesus name.

Prayer Focus

1. O Lord, please forgive me for my insensitivity and negligence as a parent.

2. I receive wisdom to walk with my children, in Jesus name.

3. O Lord, help me to be a friend to my children, in Jesus name.

4. Holy Spirit, please help my children to put you at the centre of their lives, in Jesus name.

5. I receive parental wisdom today, in Jesus name.

6. Pedophiles shall be far from my children, in Jesus name.

BIBLE IN ONE YEAR: 1 Kings 12-14

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